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Hi every one, I am writing this post to thank you for your support over the years. To show my appreciation for every visit. And to spread my arms towards your embrace for being a follower.

 

Today however is the last day I will be posting any update on this domain. But that’s not the good news. So, have no fear.

 

The topic of this post is awkwardly a website. The reason is simple. The blogging will continue, so you haven’t lost a chance to read my posts. It’s just that you’ll have to come with me to a more private domain.

http://www.beeslens.com Folks, this is where I wish you all come over to. Bring with you your interests and subscriptions. Bring with you your love and kin attention. And together we could make this another success story.

 

Thank you for reading. And may the Gods which you serve always be in your favour.

The Meat and The Eater. The Beef and The Beefer.

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Alhaji. He wore a look of surrender, as my presence occurred within his conscience. There was no debating the fact. He knew; I had returned to avenge myself of his doings.

So, politely; he asked, where it was I would be dragging him into.

Vindicated. I paid him a honest reply.

Oga! Nor war-rie . We nor dey go far place. It’s just around the corner.

I am taking you to the same place you left me.

Or; did you not wish, that I implode; by the thoughts of you I hold.  Oh! So there was truly  more your words should have done, than provoke?

Esu ni è. O de ti kpofo.  Me; kii myself. For you?  Twai! You miss road.

Wait! Did you ever wish, that I may be consoled? No!
Or; is it possible, you truely meant to leave, while I had no hope, and many sorrows? Yes!

Well. To you, I have lost my soul. By you, I am enslaved to woes. Yet it is you and your curse that once made me whole.

Once; I’ll rather not have friends, than make of you a foe.

Alhaji!!! I say nor war-rie!!! We nor dey go far place.

I’m only taking you somewhere just around the next corner.

The HELL your yells conjured !!!

That time, wen you see meat? You rush grub.
Na you beef, you wan run.

Ala-ha-ji!!!

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The meat and the eatery. The myth and the mystery.

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The morning came, after a night spent wrapped around each other’s warm arms. Unaware of ongoing proceedings as day broke, he stayed yet asleep; in the same bed which played host to the many before him.

Her tiptoeing did little to make sure he stayed in, still sleeping like a child, rocked to sleep by the caring hands of a loving mother, the night before.

The morning came, after a night well spent in each other’s arms. The dawning of day beconed, as a now sober but  gentle sleeper arose.  He sets gaze upon one, who already was set to depart. The walls of  the room, in which they both were once consumed by passion, and in locking lips greeted his morning.

Good day you: a serene quirky voice referred to him. I hope your eyes have not seen the myths beyond the mysteries of my ageing self?

Little or none of that my princess.  Little or none I promise you.

Well then; good you’re up already. Shall I be helped with this little zip, stuck right where my hands can not reach?

At your service your gorgeousness but first; where do I begin to appreciate your kindness? There’s not much I can give that you already do not own…

Sparkles lit up her brazen face. Her smile poured forth like a fountain of slippery jewels, as she replied softly: gifts are not every thing my  dear.  I am happy I already have every thing you can not give.

But, she bothered not to mutter the whole truth into his earing, as her gold laden hands, freed his hold from upon her coat.

O yes I should be happy she thought to herself yet again. I already have everything you can not give; yourself  included.

Only in a few days though; she continued quietly. Only in a few days, will it dawn upon your conscience, that you have been the  meat, and here has been the eatery.

*Oi ti mor meh meh…
(Meaning, save your sweet words, you are not the Hunter. You are the hunted.)

what separates me from God. Disbelief?

wpid-20130402_164739.jpgFor all these years that church made me believe I wasn’t a christian. I just go there having a form of Godliness but denying the power thereof. I’m hardly ever without sin though. I don’t even have proof God actually does exists. I just believe. Yet something keeps pulling me towards being committed to the ministry of Christ. Doing more than just saying amen!

All these years, what has held me back; what has hindered my total commitment to the love of doing Christ’s work has been my doubts. 15 years now and I’m here still trying to decide where my loyalties lie. Wether they be with my doubts or with my beliefs. I’m still asking why I can’t trust God about my doubts. And why I shouldn’t trust him about my beliefs.

A few months back, I met a man. He pastors a congregation not far from where I live. Peter Lewis is a soft spoken man of the word. And I was happy to learn from him. But he busted my bubble. He embarrassed my expectations. He made utterances that triggered my demons. Peter Lewis of Cornerstone Church drew my attention to very obvious facts; such that made me pause in reasoning.

“The bible never disguised the failings of its heroes. Abraham stooped to deceit to ensure his safety. Peter denied. David lusted”. Even the three hebrew boys doubted God in their strongest ever display of trust in him. Daniel 3:18But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Ha! My spirit cried. My soul begged God’s forgiveness. Suddenly it dawned on me. The presence of FAITH is not the absence of doubt. What makes me a christian is the presence of faith. Not the absence of doubt. Yes I doubt. But still I believe. I started to realise what mattered has always been where my loyalty swayed. Taking sides with my doubt isn’t my job as a believer. If I can trust Jesus with my faith. I can trust him about my doubts.

Sometimes, I don’t know which is stronger. My doubts or my beliefs. Each time I had reasons to think about it, I ended up trying not to get confused. I’ve always believed there is a God.  I’ve always doubted it too. But are my beliefs not meant to be believed; and my doubts meant to be doubted? Most times we doubt our beliefs. We believe our doubts. Worse still, we fail to realise that God’s place is in the centre of our lives. Not our doubts.

If like me, you have doubts. Don’t give in to it. Keep searching. God will find you just where you are.

Me; I soak this fragile heart I have, in the blood of Jesus. Every of its weakness is transformed into strength. Every trembling of its standing is stabilised into firmness.

I choose to learn and accept that the presence of doubt isn’t the absence of faith. Have  doubts if I must. But nurse that faith. What makes me a Christian is the presence of faith; not the absence of doubt. I know that for as long I  am on this side of heaven, I will always have both. But my doubts from henceforth seizes to be a justification for my unbelief or not totally surrendering to the will of HE in whom I have entrusted my life. 

Join me. Believe! 

yet to unfold

 

 

29 January 2010 at 19:49

 

In this part of the world, not too far from beneath the scourging hot sun
Each day is a struggle against the odds, despite resilience, tenacity and focus

As though things were only meant to get worse, the years bring with them less joy than the previous
And we doubt if or not we’ve been cursed, as days feel heavier under the weight of their cause; regardless of religion, simplicity or pulse.

Normalcy is so rare and precious
Almost nothing is without the big pause. Courtesy the Nigerian factor
Electricity, water and transport; Education, rights and comfort
All have gone off course, despite the prayers, patience and hopes

But amidst these many woes.
We have failed to remain on hold
We have kept our gaze on growth
Although our best is yet to unfold
We remain glued to achieving one goal

A Nigeria pure and whole.

Make me believe you more

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Make me believe you more
Make me know you are my all.

Make me behave you more
Make me Know you are my law.

Make my soul believe your word
Make my heart know you are Lord
The One and only true God.

Make me condone you more
Make my thirst for you endure

Rephrase my thoughts
Make my life define your works

Restrict me
Make my heart contain your love

Protect me
Dip my flesh in the depths of your blood

O! Thou balm of Gilead
Ye who the sick besort
Heal me of this sin sick world
And grant me grace to tow my cross,
Until this life in me is no more.

Amen!

…and I thought

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He turned water into wine for Some’
The wine needed pouring.

He made 5 loafs feed thousands
the multiples still needed sharing..

When he healed Bartemaeus
Nothing needed doing. He saw

when he raised Lazarus. He lived

He parted the red sea. It still needed Crossing.

If You are a christian cos you go to church. God’s grace only rubs off on your life by virtue of his presence.

Your life is only a reflection of your privilege not an image of His greatness.

Until you experience God as an individual, as opposed to being a group member.

Until you relate personally with HE who teaches all good things.

You might never stop needing a Moses before your red seas are crossed.

…and I thought these things. Having reached an oasis in my own wilderness.